It may not seem like it here, but I am a reasonably optimistic person. My glass is more than half full. I have said on more than one occasion that karma would sort stuff out, so I need not worry over it. Generally it worked well for me (or for my little slice of the universe).
OW #1- Husband divorced her.
OW#2 – Husband became incapacitated so now she has to care for him 24/7 on welfare.
OW#3 – Repeatedly arrested and occasionally homeless.
It goes on and on. Karma.
And yet my own fate/ luck these last few months has been utterly awful. Or has it??
Shortly after I last posted, Handsome and my 16 yo (who was driving on her learner’s permit) were in a terrible car accident. I had to drive to the accident scene and there were 3 ambulances and two fire trucks there. Car was totaled. The car she hit was totaled. Daughter black and blue head to toe. Handsome has a lumbar fracture. Awful scene.
Then, my 90 yo mom passed away last week. She was in 3 facilities over 2 months, but was discharged to come home the day before her birthday. Six days later she had to return to the hospital with a pneumonia that killed her shortly thereafter. She was fully alert till her last breath and I was with her, holding her hand.
I really started wondering who I wronged in the universe for all these awful things to happen. Who did I wrong or betray? Was I selfish or greedy or just a general jackass? Why?
And then I took a deep breath and tried to step outside myself for just a minute. Yes, these things were all terrible and sad and stressful. (So very stressful.) And yet… there is also unquestionably good fortune in each.
My husband and daughter are alive. They can walk. Not everyone walks away from an accident like they had, but they did. Yes, Handsome is injured but he can and hopefully will heal. The car is replaceable. They are not.
I’m so very sad about my mom. She lived with me for the last 6 years. I saw her every day. I’m really missing her. But she had a good, fulfilling, long life and was in reasonably good health and had all her faculties up until the very last minute. I had her for 53 years. I know how lucky I am. Yes, she died and it hurts and I’m crushed, but I was so very fortunate to have her for my mom and to have her for as long as I did.
Maybe my karma was the good kind after all.
Definitely good karma. Life is hard, but you are strong. My mother is 79 and has dementia. She thankfully still remembers who we are, but can’t remember if she had her morning coffee and now has depression. She’s too young for this. I’m so glad your husband and daughter are okay. My son totaled his Subaru Crosstrek in a snowstorm in NY earlier this year, but he walked away nearly unscathed. I’m very thankful. We can definitely so how full our glasses are because we’ve been through hell and out the other side. Keep filling that glass! 🤗
I think that’s so true… that my glass feels full because I’ve lived through it feeling utterly empty. Even in those dark days I knew I had a roof over my head and great kids, etc., but it was still darn gloomy. These more recent things don’t bear that same darkness.
I’m sorry to hear about your mom. Dementia stinks and 79 is still young today. ❤️
I’m so very sorry. That is a lot to deal with. Yes, you are strong but it is still hard. I feel for you.
Thank you DLH. It is a lot. I’m honestly overwhelmed. But coming here to write helps me work through it and try to keep it in perspective. It would be easy to despair. I’d rather find some sunshine. ☀️
Imam so so,sorry to hear about your mum. At times life just seems to send multiple devastating things our way all together, I have learned that it makes us stronger, but the pain is unbearable. But it does make us stronger, well some of us. Others go down, and the biggest choice is to NOT let it break us. I am so glad your daughter and handsome are okay, not to negate the pain of a lumbar injury. Huge hugs, I think you need them. ❤️❤️
Definitely need the hugs, Rosie. It’s been a lot, all at once. I am NOT going down. No way. It’s still hard to look forward to the day though when you just want it to be drama-free but you know that’s unlikely. I would love an uneventful week at this point. ❤️
Hugs to you. Yes, we are strong women, all of us who have dealt with the unimaginable. Wishing you some sunshine and an uneventful day, week, month…
Thanks so much. ❤️Uneventful… boring even… would be great at this point.
I haven’t seen you posting for a while and hope everything is OK.
It has been a bit. A few very crazy months. All is (mostly) ok. Stay tuned…