I would like to share a few pictures with you:
When we met this beautiful, bright young woman at the Kentucky Derby, she was absolutely delightful. She was kind and gracious and went out of her way to make our daughter’s day special. (My daughter told her that she looked like a magical princess and that she loved her crown.) I was dismayed to see last week’s news and the sad developments in her life.
What do I see when I look at these photos? I see a woman not entirely unlike my husband. For the record, Handsome did not act out with minors. Otherwise, I see this as a “there but for the grace of God” kind of thing. I see a physically beautiful human being who is apparently afflicted with some gaping hole in her soul. I see a wife (married just under 3 years, to a wealthy coal family scion) and mother who apparently couldn’t self-soothe or find sufficient peace or joy in her life and who made really, unbelievably bad decisions. She violated a position of trust. She acted out through her place of employment. It all caught up to her.
I am sure that it would be distasteful to my husband to be compared to her. It would probably piss him off. Handsome draws that bright line (minors vs non minors) in the sand. Yes, there is a legal bright line there for VERY good reason, but I’d suggest that bedding down with your “mentee” 32 years your junior is creepy and immoral too. So is being a cog in the sex trade/ human trafficking wheel, and sexting/ meeting up with anonymous folks online (who we hope and believe were over 18, but…?). So is engaging in some of your acting out during your work day, in your work uniform. Handsome would say that there are big differences. I don’t think so.
A year ago, I’m not sure that I would have felt much sympathy for this young woman. Now, I do. And I certainly empathize with her husband and kids. Every single day I am thankful that my family didn’t end up with news crews parked on our front lawn or my husband’s pictures all over the local news. Having them on Facebook was bad enough.
I hope that she gets whatever help she needs to address her issues. I hope that for her husband and kids as well. I also take this as a reminder that you never know what struggles someone has in their life just from looking at outward appearances. A few years ago, she seemed to be on top of the world. Now, it’s all gone.
Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.
André Malraux